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Contents
It's a safe bet that anyone who buys a book about prosperity
or goes to a prosperity seminar is interested in making more
money. Since you're reading this book, I'm going to assume
that you want to generate more financial energy.
To do this you'll have to become aware
of the thoughts, beliefs and emotions (TBEs) that are supporting
your current life position and then change them. To
help you raise your awareness, we're going to examine money
in general. Then, in Section 2 [of Prosperity
Is an Inside Job], we'll look at your TBEs and discuss
what actions you can take to alter your money consciousness
and the money you generate.
What is a Money Consciousness?
Your money consciousness is how you think, believe and feel
about money. People with a prosperity consciousness know that
there is a limitless supply and all they have to do is receive
their share. They trust there will always be enough to fulfill
their needs and desires. Because they know there's enough
for everyone, people with a prosperity consciousness rarely
hoard anything. Giving, loving, and sharing are easy for those
who are in the prosperity consciousness because they're never
afraid that there isn't enough.
A scarcity consciousness is the opposite of a prosperity
consciousness. People with a scarcity consciousness never
have enough and are afraid of losing whatever they own. They
feel needy, deprived and inadequate. Fear of the future, stinginess
and hoarding are all characteristics of a scarcity consciousness.
One day, I was speaking to a 65 year-old woman who was worried
about her future. She had received $200,000 when she sold
her house four years before and had used up more than half
of it. She felt helpless.
"What am I going to do when my money runs out?"
she lamented.
I asked her, "Why don't you figure out how to get some
more?"
She looked at me as if to say, "What a concept!"
Because she was past retirement age, she thought there was
no possible way for her to generate new money. That's a scarcity
consciousness.
Before a predicted storm, residents of threatened areas rush
to stores and buy up arm loads of supplies that they're afraid
will be difficult to obtain. This behavior is a sign of a
scarcity consciousness.
People who hoard millions of dollars often aren't prosperous
because they're afraid of not having enough. Although, to
the observer, they might appear to be prosperous, in reality
they suffer from the fear of scarcity.
People in the prosperity consciousness act as if there is
a limitless supply. They know they can always generate more.
On the other hand, those who think, believe and feel scarcity
see limitations and a finite supply.
People who have the spirit of entrepreneurship and are willing
to take great risks in order to act upon an idea often have
a prosperity consciousness. They know that all they can lose
is money. If they do, there is plenty more -- they just have
to find it.
If you have a scarcity consciousness, it will be difficult
for you to feel prosperous unless you find a way to see your
life and money supply from a different point of view.
What is Money?
When was the last time you thought about money? Probably
within the last hour. Most people spend an inordinate amount
of their thinking time focusing on how much money they have
or don't have or how much money they owe. Or they worry about
not having enough money. People lie, cheat, steal and even
kill because of money. Others commit suicide.
What incredible power money has over our lives! It affects
what we eat, where we live, how we spend our leisure time,
how well we take care of ourselves and just about every other
aspect of our existence.
Yet money is nothing more than pieces of paper or circular
bits of metal. By itself, money is absolutely meaningless.
Its power and usefulness is the result of the definition that
society gives to it. If everyone else was paying for goods
and services with pieces of cloth, your paper currency would
be worthless.
At one point in our economic development, we did pay each
other with cloth and other usable goods. However, carrying
around that kind of currency in our pockets was difficult.
So we decided to use money as a symbol for value, and we gave
it different colors and numbers to signify how many piles
of cloth, beads or gold it was worth.
After years of practice, we found more sophisticated means
of manipulating money. Now we don't even have to carry around
the actual pieces of paper or coins. We can write a check,
use plastic cards or just punch numbers into a computer terminal
and have dollars travel around the world.
Obviously, money isn't really just pieces of paper or circular
coins. It's much more than that. Money is a symbol for an
exchange of energy between people who have a relationship
with each other. Money is, therefore, a symbol of relationship.
In this case it is a financial relationship, which can be
as emotional as any other relationship.
Your individual relationship with money is similar to your
relationship with yourself and others. In other words, you
deal with money the same way you deal with yourself and others.
Your financial relationships develop along the same energy
pathways as everything else in your life. And, of course,
your relationship with money is an extension of your TBEs.
Once you understand this, you'll be able to comprehend why
you act as you do with money and how you can develop new and
more effective behavior patterns.
Money Equals Love
I've pointed out that there are two aspects to everything
in three-dimensional reality -- the internal and external.
The internal component of all relationships, including those
that are financial, is an electrical impulse that we experience
with our heart center, which connects humans to each other
and our environment. This impulse is experienced as a feeling
that we call love.
Humans have an instinctive need to bond with each other and
part of this bonding is the feeling of love. I'm not talking
about romantic love, that's just one aspect of the love energy,
but feelings that we have for other people. Even conflicted
relationships have an element of love in them. It's out of
balance, but if there was no feeling, there would be no conflict.
Money is an external component of relationships. Money represents
energy passing between two people who agree to have a particular
kind of relationship -- financial. Parents have financial
relationships with their children and each other, employees
have financial relationships with their employers, and nations
have financial relationships with other nations.
Financial relationships pervade our society. While money
allows us to fill our most basic needs for food, clothing,
shelter, transportation, medical care, etc., it also serves
as a mechanism by which we can bond with others.
To express the desire to bond, as well as expressing feelings
of appreciation and acknowledgment, people often use money
instead of words. If you come to my store and you see something
that makes you feel good, chances are you're not going to
give me a big hug and kiss and tell me how terrific everything
is. You're more apt to put some money in my hand and quietly
enjoy the moment while I package your purchase. If I smile
at you, express interest in your life and show my appreciation
for your acknowledgment, you'll probably come back to my store
for more. You'll feel a bond with me.
Parents often give children money to acknowledge their achievements.
Money from parents also tells children that they trust them
and want to support them. Parents, who for one reason or another
are unable to openly express their love, often give their
children money instead. Money is sometimes the only visible
bond between parents and their children; except for when money
passes between them, they rarely touch.
Many people who are uncomfortable financially are acting
out their love relationships with their family of origin.
People with financial difficulties invariably feel deprived,
abandoned, ashamed of themselves and unworthy. This applies
to people who never have enough money as well as people who
have sufficient money. Even wealthy people can be uncomfortable
with their money.
It all has to do with our need to bond. If we didn't feel
bonded to our parents when we were children, we keep searching
for the bonding we need. Our financial expression is a reflection
of our early bonding experiences.
For example, I have a friend, Sally, who comes from a wealthy
family and was provided for with a generous trust fund. Sally
was the child of two alcoholics who abused her emotionally.
She was the family scapegoat and her self-esteem was extremely
low. Like her parents, Sally became an alcoholic. When I met
her, she was already sober and attending Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings regularly.
Every once in a while, the pressures of life would overwhelm
Sally. She became manic and would go on spending sprees that
were as painful as any alcoholic binge. Her pattern was to
spend thousands of dollars on art or redecorating her apartment.
During her manic episodes, Sally always attracted down-and-outers
to whom she'd either give or lend money. The drama always
ended up with the people cheating or manipulating Sally in
some way, just as her parents had done.
After her money binges Sally would be overcome by shame and
remorse. More often than not, she would leave herself in a
situation where she would feel that she was broke and unable
to support herself. Finally, with the help of a therapist,
Sally saw that she never felt bonded with her parents. Although
they had plenty of money, her mother never nurtured her and
neither parent was ever there to support her emotionally.
Her binges were Sally's way of screaming, "I need someone
to touch me!"
Rescue Dramas
In families where there is little affection or acknowledgment
and incomplete bonding, there are usually multiple dramas
around money. Children who need to be rescued by their parents
are usually asking for love, attention and emotional support.
When a parent is unable to hug and empower a child, the child
has no recourse but to ask that his/her needs be met some
other way.
When children feel deprived of love, they misbehave, get
sick or create dramas that demand the parent's attention.
Often, children who feel deprived create situations in which
they receive negative attention, such as punishment or abuse.
For them, that's better than no attention at all. When children
who feel deprived become adults, they don't have the emotional
vocabulary to say, "I really need you to hug and love
me because I feel so alone and unworthy." Instead they
ask for money.
Parents who are unable to express love never learned how.
Their parents didn't bond well with them so they have no idea
how to bond with their children. In some cases, instead of
bonding and giving love, they give money.
Linda Pierce's father Bob was emotionally abusive. Her mother
Claire, afraid of hurting her relationship with Bob, didn't
protect Linda from Bob's rages. Claire's way of saying, "I'm
sorry," was to give Linda money or buy her expensive
clothes. In time, Linda learned to ask for money or clothes
when she needed love.
In order to get her parents' attention, Linda created periodic
financial crises. A pattern of rescue dramas emerged. It was
as if the characters were all reading a script. First Linda
would cry to Claire about her dire straits. Because Linda
knew that Bob made the major money decisions, she needed an
ally and hoped that Claire would play the part. She hoped
that Claire would protect her. But Claire never did. Instead,
she'd say, "Go ask your father," and predictably,
he'd say, "No."
Linda would then cry to Claire and complain about how mean
he was, and finally Claire would agree to talk to Bob. They'd
discuss it, or fight about it, and, finally, Linda would get
what she needed, which made her feel that they cared about
her. It was an empty victory, but better than feeling entirely
alone.
Anyone who needs to be rescued financially is saying that
they need to feel loved or supported. Invariably, those needs
were not met by their parents and they try to satisfy their
needs by getting rescued by family members or substitutes,
such as banks.
Banking Relationships
Banks are often parent substitutes. In order to establish
a banking relationship, beyond just keeping your money there,
you have to find a banker who is interested in what you are
doing and has a desire to help you. You also have to feel
comfortable with the banker. For small business owners, their
banker often knows more about them than anyone else. If there
is a good relationship, the business owner knows that there
is at least one person who will be there if they have problems
with the business, even if it's just to give advice. A bond
develops between the entrepreneur and the banker.
Banking relationships can be quite revealing. If you want
to borrow money from a bank, you have to tell them everything
about your financial history. In the process, you have to
closely examine your financial behavior. You're bound to feel
a little embarrassed or vulnerable because all of your "mistakes"
are hanging out for everyone to see. It's not unusual to feel
as if you are a child appealing to an adult for more allowance.
You know that if you're a good boy or girl, you'll get what
you need. If they don't like you or judge your past behavior
harshly, you won't find satisfaction and acknowledgment.
If you get the loan you want and make your payments every
month, at the end of the loan period you and the bank will
either say good-bye or create another loan situation. Chances
are that you'll want to maintain the relationship if enough
bonding has taken place. The loan serves a purpose because
you feel taken care of and acknowledged, and your payment
record gives you a chance to be a good boy or girl.
Loan relationships with a bank, like any debt relationship,
also serve the debtors by giving them the security that someone
is out there who won't forget about them. As long as there's
a balance outstanding, the bank has a vested interest in the
debtor's success.
Since we're looking at banking relationships, let's see what
else might be playing out. Suppose you find yourself having
trouble with your payments (relationship). You feel fear because
if you don't pay, the bank will punish or abandon you. Once
again, you feel like a child petitioning your parents for
understanding. The feelings you experience will be similar
to those that you felt as a child.
As adults, many of us find it difficult to say to people,
"Gee, I really need to feel connected to someone, and
I need to know that I'm supported in what I'm doing. So could
you come by every month and tell me I'm doing a great job
and maybe give me a hug?"
Instead, we go to the bank. >Our financial relationships with
banks serve as substitutes for our relationships with those
whose role it was to support us when we were children. Even
if your interaction with a bank is limited to a checking account,
if you have feelings when you balance your checkbook or bounce
checks, those feelings correlate with your feelings about
your family members.
Business Relationships
If you have a job, you have a financial/love relationship
with your superiors and a sibling relationship with your co-workers.
Situations you create at work will often be carbon copies
of situations you had in your family of origin. If you're
having a problem with someone at work, examine how the problem
relates to conflicts you had with family members.
If you have your own business, then your relationships with
your customers will be a reflection of your relationships
with your family of origin or other close relationships. You're
asking them to acknowledge and support you. If your customers
like what you have to offer, they'll express their pleasure
by exchanging money for your goods or services. If you had
a balanced love relationship with your family, that will be
reflected in a healthy business. If, on the other hand, your
parents died or divorced when you were young, or if you were
abused or in any way abandoned, you may have more trouble
establishing a comfortable and consistent money flow in your
business.
These are generalizations, of course, but if you look at
your job or business dramas, you will see the same patterns
there as in other areas of your life.
Read the rest of this chapter in Prosperity
Is an Inside Job, which is available as an individual
book or as part of the Build
Your Money Muscles program.
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